Monday – to rise-to bed?
I awoke at 5am… hungover emotionally and physically. Angry. Foggy grief as I look at your photo… wanting to use this anger to fuel my day.. and barell through it – but once I stop… then I collapse… Gay pride – ugh… meeting people I haven’t seen since your death… wanting hugs – wanting to […]
Popping Pills & Shots
Numbness has become my regular neutral… 5 O’clock shot to end the day while I weep in the A.M. and throughout the day… Everyday is a wrestling match… how do I make it through. Every move is 10 calls and waiting… income slows to a crawl and I’m surrounded by things to do…. everyday things… […]
The Baby Love is Overheated
I”m not sure why, but for the last 3 weeks the heat has decided to have a mind of it’s own. The second floor now resembles my old apt on 19th street where we had to keep the window open… the heat never stops… I closed the windows and my poor little love over heated. […]
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,Silence the pianos and with muffled drumBring out the coffin, let the mourners come. Let aeroplanes circle moaning overheadScribbling on the sky the message ‘He is Dead’.Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,Let the traffic policemen […]
Today is not the day…
Today is not the day to climb the pole. Today is not the day fill the city potholes that un-align my car and center Today is not the day to loose 20 lbs, turn back 20 years or relearn 2.0 lessons learned in elementary school Today is no the day make the sun rise. Today […]
Releasing the past anxieties. They paths of the synapses. The visions. The fear. Releasing the present. The expectations – anxious expectations. Releasing what I thought I would become. Releasing past thoughts, theories, reasoning, and anger – with a breath. Release.
here we go out to drive. to park. to k turn. walk the beach….
And so a tropical storm is about to arrive. The surf is like a washing machine and after an hours morning walk I jumped in. I made sure to be surrounded by people with the rip tide so strong… It felt wonderful.. the ocean warm and the wave crashing – watching the water swirl around […]
the dog is vomiting
The day began with Baby Love throwing up at 5am and ended with me preparing dinner alone while he threw up blood and a clear thick mess. It almost looked liked he ate tomatoes. But that would be impossible. He hasn’t been able to keep anything down since 6 am. Then 10 am when we […]