I’m not sure why we never got the cherry’s used for our favorite Manhattan served at our favorite restaurant…Today I found them, candied cherry’s made by a company founded in 1821. I don’t have the makings for a manhattan… but all of a sudden I’m seeing that it’s the ingredients and not the Alcohol that makes a cocktail…So my dear love I need a shaker…Bitters and sweet vermouth… to turn my non alcohol whisky into something special…

Ingredients – the blending of flavors… you were for it when it came to dinner but for drinks… gin and three limes on the rocks…bourbon & soda – don’t make it too tricky as you would say when I would be adding and adding to the design of some project or other…

My head has been aching all day…I woke up crying…sitting up in bed always triggers the horrors of trying to get your limp body up in bed – grabbing a sheet and standing on the mattress… I lost it… No I couldn’t work out in the basement as planned, if sitting up in bed to have my coffee would trip the ptsd wires then lifting weights was way out of my reach today.

For the past two days I’ve had a slight headache… is it withdrawal from Cholonopin? ……….Well after visiting Dr GOogle – Symptoms are headaches, tremors, and can last up to 2 month but two weeks is the usual… So here I sit… .25mg for a week. And I think tonight is my last one… it does absolutely nothing for me… BUT I have to be aware of possible side effects after taking it daily for years… A headache is not something mysterious – it’s the body reacting to something…

Medicine, Drs and you and I… I don’t trust any medical person… UNLESS – they really talk to me…explain what is going on… and continue to win my trust… That’s why I weary…

I’m alone so I need to let other’s know what’s going on with me…