Flower Garden Factory

Author: b2c-fgf

  • Walking tall

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    by

    b2c-fgf
    in ,

    Never be ashamed of who you are – what ever characteristic that day may catch your ire. Notice the difference of walking into Sunday event as opposed to Saturday and how you felt afterward. Saturday was filled with gay men – younger thinner and stylish in a bowl full of lovely gold fish. Seeing them…

  • Pink Day

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    by

    b2c-fgf
    in ,

    My head is throbbing and heavy – as I wake up, play the games in the NYTs, watch the candle burn on your alter. Lately PTSD scene waft in and I breathe them stage right. Always the hospital, always that six months 2 1/2 years ago. Even my posture in bed reminds me of trying…

  • Skin

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    by

    b2c-fgf
    in , ,

    I’m fascinated by the way my upper lip feels. It’s been over 20 years since I’ve had a clean face, no hair to adorn it and the top of my head no longer has the weeds growing on top. My lips are a gash across the large planes of my head. Uncomfortably feminine. My mother’s…

  • anxiety, a disorder…

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    by

    b2c-fgf
    in ,

    I had an anxiety attack yesterday mid day. It was so easily slipped into even though I hadn’t experienced one in 6 months, not to this degree. Images of your death, PTSD are flowing into my days and I have to stamp on them like one of those beautiful red flying insects invading the US…

  • Gnats

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    by

    b2c-fgf
    in

    Distractions trigger a response. I hear them loud and clear in my mind trying to work out their senseless obvious conclusions… impassioned negative energy thrown about can glide quickly into my being. A simple BOE candidate debate turns into a brawl of egos….it’s infected – no – stirred my inner psyche so all I hear…

  • Shark

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    by

    b2c-fgf
    in

    Sitting in the dunes as high tide erased the shoreline, I understood I could pay for this. It was just cool enough that the warm midday sand warmed my legs and the sun felt temperate. Fisherman and their fishing families, fishing children, fishing clusters of generations – all casting, looking to the horizon for a…

  • Early

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    by

    b2c-fgf
    in

    Balance is way off this morning, head leaden, stomach nauseous, entire surface of my skin is tingling, energy is at 3. I am aware. Aware of my state of my body as it tries to maintain balance, focus on the complex calculations that you cells are making to steady the ship – they are there…

  • The wind

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    by

    b2c-fgf
    in

    you’re there as the wind flutters my shirt the flame on your alter is your deep breath white sheets are our relationship cloth – comforting, soothing, wrapping 2 individuals into one tableau the coffee waits for you on your night stand my hands blind search for your tattoos there you are just beyond my reach…

  • The end of the road

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    by

    b2c-fgf
    in ,

    Yesterday after my doctors appointment I realized my health situation is just like your death. There is no remedy. No drugs to make it better. This is the situation. Stop beating your head against the wall – anger emitting from your cells that no one is listening. They are listening. They have no answers. Just…

  • Headline

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    by

    b2c-fgf
    in ,

    ”Life is a dream. Keep it simple.” Those two sentences woke me this Sunday morning. Sweep the doubts, fears to the trash bin only after you recognize what’s standing behind them in plain sight. It’s not a laborious act. At this time of life it’s a breath in and out – recognizing the phantom and…