I see lightness in your being in the near future.
The full moon says so…the emotional heaviness no longer serves you or the world.
That beautiful you becomes the brighter flame.
Last night was a full moon burn. Parts of your paintings old mallas, notes and the “Mary” pillow. Light blue linen 9 inch square filled with eiderdown. The ultimate slap in the face from your mother – mailed to you as something you would remember her and your wonderful life in Switzerland – nothing of value – their 3rd time going bankrupt. Living off others.
There were no tears – or speaking to the moon. I talked to the flames – took out what could be recycled. Amazed at the fragrance of the burning dried flowers from your studio. Quickly your damaged Ocean Grove beach painting became ash. The urine stained white canvas of Dr Love gone. And to top it off, first the pillow cover – burned quickly leaving a sort of snake skin of its shape in ashes. Lastly the pillow interior was laid on top and took long and with much effort on my part feeding it the things I was going to recycle…finally the fabric burned then the white eiderdown burst out and snuffed the fire. The final act of revenge of an animal killed to stuff a bag of cloth to be handled in a home of discord and money changing love.
The performance art aspect of this tribal dance was not lost on me. It made me smile.
I thought – is this the last of the grieving full moon burns?
As that pillow took its time burning… I wondered. Why did we hold onto this? Why would I embrace a thing so associated with your hurtful past? Why take the energy so needed to travel my day to create a burning alter of exit?
With no answers, smelling of burnt canvas, feathers, and paint – I walked inside and wrote the opening of this post to Steve in Portland, not knowing – that the outpouring of my texting thumbs was directed at me.
The oracle had spoken.