We’ll my dear, Allyson is coming down to visit and I get to meet her Thompson. Last time we really talked he still wasn’t divorced and blah blah blah… I’m stilling at our table where she exclaimed in a subdued rage…I want someone to take care of me…

And so I guess she has… 

I miss our push pull… you would take care of me in a way that was – I love this aspect of you, put up with certain aspects and will call you out when you acting out and making anxious waves… which I do… and there’s no one here but be to keep me in check.

I nearly had a heart attack twice in the past two days… you weren’t there to stop the violence I scream at myself and the universe… 

You surround me with you colors and sparkles and notes… I want it all to go away… not you… the hurt of your loss… but then again… I love you and  why shouldn’t there be a hole in my souls where our lives connected – individuals yet loving, caring and taking care of each other and ourselves.. 

I love you my honey. I will carry myself this day… with compassion for those that have not lost and are in the day to day grind of living loving and laughter – filling time… then I’ll return home to our sanctuary – I love you so… 

My soul aches.

Peace my dear, Joy and happiness 

Yours forever 

Dan