Category: Grief
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Colleen on Mary T
Your journey of unwanted lessons learned in this territory are a gift to her and all the family. Amazing how our own cuts, wounds and scars when recognized by the other – can transform the story to one of healing – on both ends of the conversation. – me
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Walking tall
Never be ashamed of who you are – what ever characteristic that day may catch your ire. Notice the difference of walking into Sunday event as opposed to Saturday and how you felt afterward. Saturday was filled with gay men – younger thinner and stylish in a bowl full of lovely gold fish. Seeing them…
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Pink Day
My head is throbbing and heavy – as I wake up, play the games in the NYTs, watch the candle burn on your alter. Lately PTSD scene waft in and I breathe them stage right. Always the hospital, always that six months 2 1/2 years ago. Even my posture in bed reminds me of trying…
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Skin
I’m fascinated by the way my upper lip feels. It’s been over 20 years since I’ve had a clean face, no hair to adorn it and the top of my head no longer has the weeds growing on top. My lips are a gash across the large planes of my head. Uncomfortably feminine. My mother’s…
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anxiety, a disorder…
I had an anxiety attack yesterday mid day. It was so easily slipped into even though I hadn’t experienced one in 6 months, not to this degree. Images of your death, PTSD are flowing into my days and I have to stamp on them like one of those beautiful red flying insects invading the US…
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Shark
Sitting in the dunes as high tide erased the shoreline, I understood I could pay for this. It was just cool enough that the warm midday sand warmed my legs and the sun felt temperate. Fisherman and their fishing families, fishing children, fishing clusters of generations – all casting, looking to the horizon for a…
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The wind
you’re there as the wind flutters my shirt the flame on your alter is your deep breath white sheets are our relationship cloth – comforting, soothing, wrapping 2 individuals into one tableau the coffee waits for you on your night stand my hands blind search for your tattoos there you are just beyond my reach…
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The end of the road
Yesterday after my doctors appointment I realized my health situation is just like your death. There is no remedy. No drugs to make it better. This is the situation. Stop beating your head against the wall – anger emitting from your cells that no one is listening. They are listening. They have no answers. Just…
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Owler
With wide glassy mirror eyes, I greet the horizon. A wet, cloudy horizon hanging over a turbulent sea. Safely in bed, cat at my side, dog sleeping on my leg…darkness surrounds the bedroom. The candle is lit upon your alter. It’s calling you home, back to this world. We’re both being called back to this…