Category: Long Haul Covid
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Owler
With wide glassy mirror eyes, I greet the horizon. A wet, cloudy horizon hanging over a turbulent sea. Safely in bed, cat at my side, dog sleeping on my leg…darkness surrounds the bedroom. The candle is lit upon your alter. It’s calling you home, back to this world. We’re both being called back to this…
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Cropped
From a camera angle my body and state seems alert, active and engaging. He talks, laughs and makes his way, drives like other 63 year old gay men. Dresses in an odd way with flowy pants and colorful splashes that match the tone of the day. From my periscope – it takes all my energy…
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Puff
Last night with a heavy head, looking in the mirror I notice under the left eye a lump bump sag – it ached. A single area of my body encapsulated how I’m feeling these days. One more ailment. I never used to be like this. I now have a before times… you were alive, I…
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fizz
Fizz… fizzle… the day has started and I’m feeling like a plane running out of fuel immediately after take off. My body is exhausted, my mind heavy and dense what ever horizon I saw at day break is fuzzy… fizzling… fizz This infection erases my memory – a blank stare as I look at the…
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…with a start
5 am: walking down the stairs tailing the parade of dog cat, anxiety and fear drop in and rush me to fix. Fix now. The urge is … not an urge really but more like a spasm of the unknown. Fill it now. figures add up and I expect to have the answer – now…
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Dancing
The kitchen is home to our ghosts. Dancing still as our supper simmers on the stove. You in my arms – I in yours – hand around your waist, my left hand in holding gently onto your right hand. Chest to chest. Your eyes are there floating in the air – staining at me –…
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Ache
My body is the Leaning Town of Pisa, The sinking city of Venice, The remains of Notre Dame after the fire. It aches, creaks and is off balance. My body no longer feels like home base but a turbulent flight I must endure. Eyes closed I breathe deep, seeing where the jolt of unease and…
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Enact
The way my body and mind are tracking these days, I’m bound to make mistakes, rush, through clouds of fog – do my best at the moment. But what if now – just for now – I complete a task and wait. Wait. Review. Then send. What if instead of thinking FOR someone, you brake…
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Yes, I want more.
I go to Whole Foods for 8am opening. The drive down ocean drive was lovely and slow. I drop off something sweet for a friend just starting work (my social time for the day). And home… As I tread the steps to my front door, my balance falters and my head swims – and so…
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Fuzz
I’m so aware of my body when I wake. It crowds out thoughts. The heavy head with a fuzzy buzz, nauseous stomach and tingling legs, face, mouth, feet, nipples, balls, How to fix my nervous system? 7 months now. Yesterday – I listed your paintings in the left cupboard. Paints were wiped down and put…