Category: Long Haul Covid
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The end of the road
Yesterday after my doctors appointment I realized my health situation is just like your death. There is no remedy. No drugs to make it better. This is the situation. Stop beating your head against the wall – anger emitting from your cells that no one is listening. They are listening. They have no answers. Just…
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Headline
”Life is a dream. Keep it simple.” Those two sentences woke me this Sunday morning. Sweep the doubts, fears to the trash bin only after you recognize what’s standing behind them in plain sight. It’s not a laborious act. At this time of life it’s a breath in and out – recognizing the phantom and…
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Owler
With wide glassy mirror eyes, I greet the horizon. A wet, cloudy horizon hanging over a turbulent sea. Safely in bed, cat at my side, dog sleeping on my leg…darkness surrounds the bedroom. The candle is lit upon your alter. It’s calling you home, back to this world. We’re both being called back to this…
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Cropped
From a camera angle my body and state seems alert, active and engaging. He talks, laughs and makes his way, drives like other 63 year old gay men. Dresses in an odd way with flowy pants and colorful splashes that match the tone of the day. From my periscope – it takes all my energy…
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Puff
Last night with a heavy head, looking in the mirror I notice under the left eye a lump bump sag – it ached. A single area of my body encapsulated how I’m feeling these days. One more ailment. I never used to be like this. I now have a before times… you were alive, I…
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fizz
Fizz… fizzle… the day has started and I’m feeling like a plane running out of fuel immediately after take off. My body is exhausted, my mind heavy and dense what ever horizon I saw at day break is fuzzy… fizzling… fizz This infection erases my memory – a blank stare as I look at the…
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…with a start
5 am: walking down the stairs tailing the parade of dog cat, anxiety and fear drop in and rush me to fix. Fix now. The urge is … not an urge really but more like a spasm of the unknown. Fill it now. figures add up and I expect to have the answer – now…
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Dancing
The kitchen is home to our ghosts. Dancing still as our supper simmers on the stove. You in my arms – I in yours – hand around your waist, my left hand in holding gently onto your right hand. Chest to chest. Your eyes are there floating in the air – staining at me –…
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Ache
My body is the Leaning Town of Pisa, The sinking city of Venice, The remains of Notre Dame after the fire. It aches, creaks and is off balance. My body no longer feels like home base but a turbulent flight I must endure. Eyes closed I breathe deep, seeing where the jolt of unease and…
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Enact
The way my body and mind are tracking these days, I’m bound to make mistakes, rush, through clouds of fog – do my best at the moment. But what if now – just for now – I complete a task and wait. Wait. Review. Then send. What if instead of thinking FOR someone, you brake…