Flower Garden Factory

Category: Thoughts

  • my belle

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    by

    b2c-fgf
    in

    I was struck listening to the former First Lady Michelle Obama, by the lightning emanating from her. It struck deep into my despair. Fear, the smallness of it. The helplessness of it. The quiet resignation. Gave me hope even in my reduced health state to find the reserves that I may have and face the…

  • Full Moon Monday

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    by

    b2c-fgf
    in

    Something is out of wack. There are things day to day that are just not working in my favor and I’m the one in the drivers seat. The cat demanding my attention at 5 am. The way I end my days The wonky way my internal drive feels Numbness in my head Projects everywhere –…

  • …with a start

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    by

    b2c-fgf
    in , ,

    5 am: walking down the stairs tailing the parade of dog cat, anxiety and fear drop in and rush me to fix. Fix now. The urge is … not an urge really but more like a spasm of the unknown. Fill it now. figures add up and I expect to have the answer – now…

  • Trigger finger

    Trigger finger

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    by

    b2c-fgf
    in ,

    Once the trigger has been pulled there’s no going back. No way to stop the waves of emotions, memories and false narratives from floating about. Like a paint gun splashes of color exploding on my skin, shirt, face, and groin. Talking myself through the possibilities. Giving voice to the explosions against my body. I had…

  • Ache

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    by

    b2c-fgf
    in , ,

    My body is the Leaning Town of Pisa, The sinking city of Venice, The remains of Notre Dame after the fire. It aches, creaks and is off balance. My body no longer feels like home base but a turbulent flight I must endure. Eyes closed I breathe deep, seeing where the jolt of unease and…

  • Hazy

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    by

    b2c-fgf
    in

    July 16. Physical: numb head, spinning eyes, tingling feet, arms, legs. Moving slow. The day begins… hot humid, will there be a through line. What does it mean to “waist a day”? Creating a maze of routine events and thoughts that blunder you through the day. A blur of a day. Your vision impaired and…

  • Tipping

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    by

    b2c-fgf
    in

    Playing with fire. Daring to be invincible and spewing the firehose of Pandora’s box. Being actor and audience. How can you not be singed – destroyed by the house you set on fire. The media will grab onto the events of yesterday and we step closer to uncertainty – or the realization of it. Fear…

  • Enact

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    by

    b2c-fgf
    in , ,

    The way my body and mind are tracking these days, I’m bound to make mistakes, rush, through clouds of fog – do my best at the moment. But what if now – just for now – I complete a task and wait. Wait. Review. Then send. What if instead of thinking FOR someone, you brake…

  • Laughing at death

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    by

    b2c-fgf
    in

    The dinner party last night was relaxed and entertaining. Surrounded by estrogen we each had our turn to entertain each other and make jokes the others would catch in their memory net. With covid cases rising around the US, it was stated that we were using our fingers to add the condiments from communal bowls.…

  • Fuzz

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    by

    b2c-fgf
    in , ,

    I’m so aware of my body when I wake. It crowds out thoughts. The heavy head with a fuzzy buzz, nauseous stomach and tingling legs, face, mouth, feet, nipples, balls, How to fix my nervous system? 7 months now. Yesterday – I listed your paintings in the left cupboard. Paints were wiped down and put…