Category: Thoughts
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Skin
I’m fascinated by the way my upper lip feels. It’s been over 20 years since I’ve had a clean face, no hair to adorn it and the top of my head no longer has the weeds growing on top. My lips are a gash across the large planes of my head. Uncomfortably feminine. My mother’s…
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Gnats
Distractions trigger a response. I hear them loud and clear in my mind trying to work out their senseless obvious conclusions… impassioned negative energy thrown about can glide quickly into my being. A simple BOE candidate debate turns into a brawl of egos….it’s infected – no – stirred my inner psyche so all I hear…
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Headline
”Life is a dream. Keep it simple.” Those two sentences woke me this Sunday morning. Sweep the doubts, fears to the trash bin only after you recognize what’s standing behind them in plain sight. It’s not a laborious act. At this time of life it’s a breath in and out – recognizing the phantom and…
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Owler
With wide glassy mirror eyes, I greet the horizon. A wet, cloudy horizon hanging over a turbulent sea. Safely in bed, cat at my side, dog sleeping on my leg…darkness surrounds the bedroom. The candle is lit upon your alter. It’s calling you home, back to this world. We’re both being called back to this…
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Waking up
After two days of zombie like state, waking up, there was a level of awareness I haven’t felt in days. Walking the dog I could see farther than my feet, feel the air and walk without the heavy chainmail of illness. I cherish this moment as I know it could slip away in a matter…
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Cropped
From a camera angle my body and state seems alert, active and engaging. He talks, laughs and makes his way, drives like other 63 year old gay men. Dresses in an odd way with flowy pants and colorful splashes that match the tone of the day. From my periscope – it takes all my energy…
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You Own You
When you walk into a room, stride in the wake of your history, let the beauty of your scars speak for themselves. Emanate the awkward grace under fire in your step, projecting the milliseconds of humanity at the cellular level. The survivor in the midst of trouble – written on your moistened chapped lips. Never…
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my belle
I was struck listening to the former First Lady Michelle Obama, by the lightning emanating from her. It struck deep into my despair. Fear, the smallness of it. The helplessness of it. The quiet resignation. Gave me hope even in my reduced health state to find the reserves that I may have and face the…
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Full Moon Monday
Something is out of wack. There are things day to day that are just not working in my favor and I’m the one in the drivers seat. The cat demanding my attention at 5 am. The way I end my days The wonky way my internal drive feels Numbness in my head Projects everywhere –…
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…with a start
5 am: walking down the stairs tailing the parade of dog cat, anxiety and fear drop in and rush me to fix. Fix now. The urge is … not an urge really but more like a spasm of the unknown. Fill it now. figures add up and I expect to have the answer – now…