I’m dressed in your clothes, wearing your jewelry, our wedding rings but still time is standing still… How many movies can I watch – how many glasses of wine as I sit alone… eating my meal alone… taking the time to feed myself with a real meal…all I have is two cats and a dog.. that I love … the living love that remains of our life together… Where’s the fifth in this fupple…

I know I have to make my life stable… fix my eyes, stop drowning my nights in drink to evade the fact that you are gone… gone and your ashes are in a tin in the bedroom…. I’m alone so much of the time… where are you?

My foot is healing… but I realize that I have to take care of myself… handrail to the basement – a real door to the outside… windows that keep the cold out.

NO MORE 3 SPEED instead of a 10 speed. I want a quality of life… Tonight I get an extra hour of sleep .. ugh… great…

Couples everywhere and I am at a loss… you gone… no one to celebrate time passing…moment by moment. Intimate moment by moment.. but I had it… so did you…

Honey.. I want to live life fully and unafraid even thought I’m alone without you. Help me take this veil off of my soul… it’s heavy, cold keeps me lying on the ground unable to move.

I love you, Miss you..I beginning to know you are in me… forever.

Tears….