Flower Garden Factory

Category: Grief

  • Yes, I want more.

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    b2c-fgf
    in ,

    I go to Whole Foods for 8am opening. The drive down ocean drive was lovely and slow. I drop off something sweet for a friend just starting work (my social time for the day). And home… As I tread the steps to my front door, my balance falters and my head swims – and so…

  • Fuzz

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    b2c-fgf
    in , ,

    I’m so aware of my body when I wake. It crowds out thoughts. The heavy head with a fuzzy buzz, nauseous stomach and tingling legs, face, mouth, feet, nipples, balls, How to fix my nervous system? 7 months now. Yesterday – I listed your paintings in the left cupboard. Paints were wiped down and put…

  • Funny thing…

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    b2c-fgf
    in

    So I thought cutting back on my drinking would help me feel more in control, more serene and here I am crying and missing you just as if I had two bourbons and a bottle of wine…like I have for the past year an a half. If I’m going to travel this journey, I’m going…

  • Saturday Night is Alright…

    Saturday Night is Alright…

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    by

    b2c-fgf
    in ,

    I’m dressed in your clothes, wearing your jewelry, our wedding rings but still time is standing still… How many movies can I watch – how many glasses of wine as I sit alone… eating my meal alone… taking the time to feed myself with a real meal…all I have is two cats and a dog..…

  • Socks

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    by

    b2c-fgf
    in

    You always told me never to wear socks as I walked down our steps…I fell honey, I had just closed the door to the basement to go downstairs an I missed a step and crumbled to the floor. Yelling help, scared… and overwhelmed by the fact that no one could help me… Just like when…

  • boxed

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    b2c-fgf
    in

    I gave away your jean jacket, your favorite sweater sportcoat, cashmere sweater… Your bomber jacket from the 80’s – to Garris. Boxed up…sent… Your Top hat, boa and linen vest to lola…along with a painted rock. boxed and sent – to someone who never met you and only relation is her sexuality and me –…

  • Tears in the am – Motown at dusk

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    by

    b2c-fgf
    in

    This morning I couln’t stop crying… I think it was the hangover of the crying jag I had last night… I cried through the beginning of my workout and then in the middle I began to have focus… “Make a list, cross it off when you’re done, enjoy what you do if you choose to…

  • White Socks

    White Socks

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    by

    b2c-fgf
    in

    Cotton, white, smooth, stretched too far from months of washing your feet, moisturizing them, massaging them and then slipping clean white socks onto your feet as quick as possible as they felt so cold. You felt more vulnerable without your socks than you did when I washed your body. I knew when I put those…

  • A Day Visit

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    b2c-fgf
    in

    We’ll my dear, Allyson is coming down to visit and I get to meet her Thompson. Last time we really talked he still wasn’t divorced and blah blah blah… I’m stilling at our table where she exclaimed in a subdued rage…I want someone to take care of me… And so I guess she has…  I…

  • Converse

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    by

    b2c-fgf
    in

    They took your shoes. The garbage crew just came and threw your converse in. The red, white, black, grey high tops and low with the heel of your feet – dug holes into them – the miles you walked – strutted, worked out, dance in them… the traces of you left in the sweat stains…